The Wicked Brother
by Varmint
Summary: When your whole world falls apart around you... No one can help you. Not even your brother.


All that I had ever wanted was my father's love. My family's approval. My friend's attention.

Is that really too much to ask? Is it selfish of me to want such meager things? To yearn for them?

I think not. I was the oldest one in the family, the black sheep of all the Hardy's, with my younger brother Jeff seeming to be the best thing to ever happen to our family. My drunkard of a father told me that when Jeff was born, my mother sneered at me and him, saying that Jeff was the only good male in our small unit.

She called her oldest son; only a three year old at the time; a cold bastard with no heart. My father told me that she seemingly cursed me, which I believe... Because there's no way a normal person with no curse could go through the hell I've lived in.

She died only a few years later, leaving a void in my heart that would only grow bigger and bigger as the time passed by. While Jeff grew up with all the affection my father and family could give, I was deprived of such pitiful things, the idea that I was useless driven into me each time that I tried to speak out against it.

I loved my brother. I really did. He was the only good thing to ever happen in my life and I did everything I could to protect him. Each night that my father arrived in a drunken haze, I would throw Jeff into a closet, locking him inside with his whimpers and small cries, all the while I was beaten black and blue for being a bastard son.

I would hold him every night he had a nightmare, telling him that there's no such thing as monsters in this world and that the only thing we really had to fear was our own insecurity, leaving him peaceful in my arms as I struggled to stay awake, just to make sure that my father didn't try anything at night.

As the years went by, the days seemed to grow colder and longer, the nights more hollow and even less inviting, the small things that once brought me joy seemingly gone forever. Jeff was a bright child, with straight A's all throughout elementary school, all the while my horrible life caught up to me in school and I got straight B's and C's.

I grew darker and more callous, seemingly cold to the world that had done nothing for me, letting only very few grow close to my heart. Jeff was one of them. A girl named Lita, a boy named Edge, and a few more of Jeff's friends were the only people I could count on to not my break my heart.

I would always love seeing Jeff playing with his friends, John Cena and Randy Orton, mostly because both boys would always put a smile on his face... a smile I could never reach. I would never reach.

As we transcended into our teenage hood, Jeff threw Lita at me, telling me that she was the right person for me. We had been best friends for years now, with shy blushes and awkward gazes coming from either one, until Jeff got tired and set me up.

At first, it was all good. My father seemed to have gotten it into his head that I wasn't worth picking a fight with anymore, the rest of my family just ignored me; with Jeff getting all of his presents from all the holidays; and the few friends I had being the only real family I had.

But, everything good must come to an end. This end came in the form of finding Lita on my bed with Edge, both of them close to being completely naked, only underwear in their way. I didn't scream. I didn't cry. I didn't feel anything. I had just closed the door and left, sitting out with Jeff, John, and Randy on the roof of our house.

The next day Lita had asked me why I hadn't done anything, and I answered with a smile so sad that I _saw_ her heart break, "I already knew that I was going to get my heart broken."

After that small scene, I only hung out with Jeff and his friends, not daring to get closer to anyone else. I didn't want to get my heart broken, not again. First my mother, then my father, then the rest of my family, and last Lita. I honestly thought that it would've stopped there, that maybe my curse had been reversed after this, but I was so very wrong.

In my Senior year, two new kids found their way into our small group of four, making it a group of six now. One's name was Hunter, the other Shawn. Those two were both very funny, arguing like an old married couple at times, then like world-renowned pranksters the next.

Somehow, Hunter somehow managed to wiggle his way into my heart, making me feel like the blushing thirteen year old I had been when I first realized my feelings for Lita. He just had something about him; maybe it was the big nose he always made fun of, or maybe it was just how strong and sure of himself he seemed; that made me fall in love.

One night, when Jeff and I lay in the same bed trying to ignore the yells and insults spewed between our father and uncle, he asked me, "Mattie? Do you like Hunter?"

I had looked down at him in shock, but, in retrospect, I shouldn't have been surprised at all. He had always been able to read me, no matter how much I tried to make myself as unreadable as possible, and sometimes it was good, but others not so good. This was one of those bad times.

"Why do you ask, Jeffro?" I asked, combing my hand through his multi-colored hair as I tried my best to keep my composure.

"Because I was wondering." He had smiled his mischievous little smile this time around, which really worried me. "But don't worry big brother. Nothing will happen."

That night I had been worried that he was going to try to set me and Hunter up... If only it had been that. No, he decided to ask Hunter out, stealing the dirty blonde from under me. I wish that I could've been pissed off at him, I wish that I had yelled at him till I went hoarse, but I just couldn't.

Here was the only sunshine in my life, and even he was turning into another ray of black and evil. I couldn't take that. I couldn't let the only good thing in my life be stolen away from me, not like my child hood or my first love.

Which brings me to now, where both Jeff and I are standing on a large rock in the middle of our woods, him smiling as he's ready for me to show him my surprise.

"What is it, Mattie? What is it?" His eyes were wide and excited, reminding me so much of the innocent Jeff I had once known.

His neck was covered in love marks made by none other than Hunter, who was none the wiser when it came to my feelings for him. I don't blame him. I mean, if I were to choose between Jeff and myself, I would easily choose Jeff. I knew that I was no good.

"You see that down there?" I asked, pointing straight down the waterfall we were standing next to, making him lean in closer.

"What am I supposed to see, Mattie?" He asked, doing his best to lean in without falling.

"You have to get closer, Jeffro." I told him kindly, my voice soothing and calm.

He did just that, getting as close to the edge as he could without falling, then said, "I can't see anything, Mattie."

As he was about to straighten up, I kicked him, making him plummet into the lake. "Mattie!" He gasped as he broke through the water barrier. "Help me! Grab something and pull me out!"

I only turned around and started to walk away, face stony and heart heavy. "Mattie! Can't you hear me! Matt! This isn't funny anymore!" He sounded to be sobbing now, and I could just imagine him, flailing his arms as his hope slowly faded away. "Please Mattie! I'm scared!"

I bit back my tears as his yells turned into plain out screams for help, him most probably thinking that I had abandoned him. I fell to my knees, biting my knuckles tightly so as to not run to help him. This was the point of no return.

"Help! Help! Please! Anyone help!" He screamed loudly, but his voice was sounding more garbled, as if he was already drowning.

"Help! Help! Please, help! Anyone!" He yelled, "Hel-" That one was cut out. "Plea-... Help!"

Those were Jeff's last words. My Jeff's last words. My fallen angels last words and actions. I couldn't let him turn into another source of pain for me. I just couldn't.

And after what seemed like hours of kneeling there, feeling even more hollow inside than before, I headed back home, ready to make sure that I never had to feel pain ever again.

**Way darker than I'm used to writing, and I actually cried while writing it. I heard this one song, 'The Cruel Sister' by Old Blind Dogs, and I was just inspired.**

**Please review your thoughts on it.**


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